Core Values as Pillars for Compassion . . .

Five ways to help us be compassionate and kind

• Appreciate
• Connect
• Improve
• Protect
• No Blame

Appreciate
Appreciate means allowing yourself to value and be happy for someone else, giving praise to others, enjoying music, art or the beauty of nature.
How can you appreciate others as you work together?

Connect
Connect means getting along with others, being part of nature, social projects, or a community – things that are ‘greater’ than you but that you are a part of.
How can you “connect” with others as you work together?

Improve
Improve means to make life a little better or happier for someone.
How can you “improve the way you work together with your team?”

Protect
Protect means guarding against being mean to another person - in thoughts, words, or actions.
How can you be thoughtful and kind and guard against being hurtful to others?

No Blame
No blame means to shift from blaming someone to improving our compassionate acts. 
How can you move from blaming others to improving your perspective and behaviour?

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Compassion Under Pressure means:

• Being able to manage your emotions to improve the situation through connecting with, appreciating others and protecting from harm. (Health and Safety being - changing people's behaviour for the safety of all.)
• Being able to reach out and stand for making a difference with others who may not be 'cool'.
• Protecting when appropriate, when others are being harmed - empowering bystanders. 
• Standing for making the difference with more and more people being compassionate under pressure, through the speech assignment.

"The Do's and Don'ts of Self Compassion" by Dr Steven Stosny

Do treat yourself and everyone else with respect.
Do listen to your heart and choose in your short term and long term best interests
Do appreciate your uniqueness and that of others.
Do appreciate deeper commonalities with all people.
Do listen to others.
Do reflect.
Do talk.
​
Regulation of impulses, emotions:
Do consider the consequences of acting on impulse.
Do take other people’s perspectives and compare them with your own.
Do express deeper feelings.

Do be flexible.
Do empower the self and others.
Do express problems accurately.
Do praise your specific effort or behaviour.
Do teach yourself how to do better.
Do consider how you can prevent the mistake in the future.
Do criticize specific behaviour at specific times.
Do enhance your strengths.
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The yoke of human kindness and wisdom:​
Do maintain core value.
Do continually strive to heal core hurts.
Do deeply accept yourself, even though you have things you want to change.
​
Solution finding:
​Do stay focused on solutions.
Do consider alternative solutions.
Do brainstorm possible solutions.

Don’t ridicule yourself or anyone
Don’t ignore inner longings

​Don’t compare people.
Don’t look to exclude yourself or others from essential humanity.
Don’t interrupt.
Don’t react.
Don’t yell, scream or lecture.
​
Regulation of impulses, emotions:
Don’t punish yourself about possible consequences.
Don’t get locked in your own perspective.
Don’t express symptoms/defences, e.g., shaming anger, anxiety, obsessions.
Don’t be rigid.
Don’t engage in power struggles.
Don’t exaggerate or minimise.
Don’t praise the self in general.
Don’t shame or humiliate yourself or others for mistakes.
Don’t threaten or punish.
Don’t label yourself or others (lazy, dumb, liar etc.,)
Don’t focus on your weaknesses.
​
The yoke of human kindness and wisdom:
Don’t limp over core hurts.
Don’t punish yourself for having them.
Don’t reject yourself because of things you want to change.

Solution finding:
​Don’t blame yourself or others.
Don’t suppose there is only one right way to solve problems.
Don’t dismiss ideas out of hand.